The May 21st SCONY party was a big success and well attended by new people. For the mountain weekend events I usually get an equal number of men and women. This last Saturday was the first time for a party in the city I had equal numbers.
During the weekend I got into a conversation with a new person about her first adult spanking and I was sort of surprised at her story. Some men just don’t understand that what satisfies a guy’s needs isn’t even close to what women usually really want, even if the ladies never say anything. I get the feeling that some spanking groups are so dominated by a male perspective that women take what they can get and believe that’s the way it’s played out all over in the community.
If you are a female bottom I would like to know what your first spanking was like. Was it what you expected? Did the top make any effort to make it special? Was there a little drama involved or any privacy? Or was it more a combination of silly slaps, laughing, other people talking to the top or you, more slaps and/or much discussion about ‘hit her harder’.
In any case did you enjoy it? In time have you gotten the scene you wanted?
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The reason for my first adult spanking was keeping from my husband for so long that I was into spanking. Lol. It was brief. It hurt a lot more than I expected, although now being able to compare to other times I know it really was pretty mild. At the time though, I definitely thought "what was I thinking wanting this??" I didn't really know what to expect. It certainly left me wanting more. The scene was memorable for being my first, but it wasn't the best one I've had. Thank goodness we've evolved. :-)
ReplyDeleteThis is a very interesting topic. You may get more comments on Fetlife. FT has a better designed system for starting conversations.
ReplyDeleteMy first one was awesome and the reason I am addicted now. I was just lucky enough to find a perfect, experienced person to deliver a good long spanking and to say just the right things to put me at ease (although I was very apprehensive). I actually didn't know it could go on for that long and be that enjoyable without my calling it quits. I especially appreciate that he held to his belief that I had to be bare bottom and OTK - neither of which I originally agreed to. Now that is some of the best part of it. My first one gave me reason and drive to pursue this further and brought me joy and happiness in my life beyond what I could ever imagine. I hope never to get too old to enjoy this kink!
ReplyDeleteMy first adult spanking was not in the "scene". If anyone would like to hear about it they can email me.
ReplyDeleteMy first adult spanking in the "scene" was what I expected. It was a good old-fashioned OTK medium spanking over my panties with the hand in a privacy area. Was it what I wanted secretly at the time? No, but I rightfully couldn't expect it to be a good old-fashioned OTK hard bare-bottom spanking while being harshly scolded in a privacy area. That would take more time and care in getting to know the Top better and he in turn me.
No drama was involved. I did enjoy it.
In time, have I gotten the scene I wanted? To me that is an ever evolving thing. I find I have multiple scenes stacked in my head. Once I have gotten a scene that I wanted, I move on to the next. I might go back to a previous scene if the player or players are different. If I read of things I haven't ever thought about that intrigue me I will add it to my list. The scene that I want today usually will not be the one I want the next time.
Sometimes, if a scene is very complicated and it doesn’t turn out one hundred percent like I had envisioned it in my mind, I am satisfied with it. I will talk about it with the Top if they ask me if it went like I would have liked it in total. I don’t want to seem ungrateful if most of what I envisioned went the way I expected it. The Top would have to show an interest in finding out if more could have been done. I will not initiate that conversation if I am satisfied with it. Expecting scenes to be totally perfect is unrealistic, but it still is disappointing to me.
Did the Top make an effort to make it special? Yes, it seemed like he did. There was no pressure. No abruptness or quick let’s do this attitude. We talked about my likes and dislikes about spanking first for a while and intermittently he checked with me during the spanking. I was comfortable and not scared of being spanked.
All in all, a great experience.
"Some spanking groups are so dominated by a male perspactive"..... Your words, and I quote, were very accurate. In my group, the male tops are all very nice, but.... there are no female tops & it was an eye-opening experience to play with a female top such as yourself who naturally understands the feminine psyche. I found out that I very much enjoy both male & female tops & that there is actually a difference.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to more fulfillment.