tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33723562888175465502024-03-05T11:40:22.551-08:00Margaret DavisMargaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125truetag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-83632912992256987952012-12-29T18:31:00.000-08:002013-01-02T00:07:27.817-08:00<b>Happy New Year!</b>
I have tinsel, ornaments, wrapping paper, mail and lord knows what else on top of my real life. Holidays are tons of fun but I run out of room for all this joyous mess. Where is my watch? I lost three combs, the cell phone charger, a few implements and my socks. I really need my socks. We had a lovely holiday and did some wonderful things so life is really good. Eventually I'll find my life underneath the lights and fake candles.
Happy New Year! 2012 was a very full year for SCONY members and we made it. All the parties were successful and both weekends moved ahead without a bump. I will always carry Pinky close to my heart. This group really pulled together when it counted and my hope is that all of us can continue to be a great team. I want to thank all the people that set up and break down for the parties. There are no words for people who step up and chip in.
SCONY is getting a new website which will be easier for me to navigate. Give me a chance to get used to it. As long as the information is out there I'm happy for now. If you see a glaring error with the site let me know. Of course you will get spanked for being too fussy.
My wish for 2013 is that if there are novice players out there who want to try spanking that they look us up and attend the events we have to offer. I wish that all the people that need to spank or be spank have their dreams come true. I hope that communication, tolerance and kindness grows as the group increases in its membership. May we all continue to use good sense in what we say and do so that the community grows in peace. Life is too short so let us move forward in peace.
Have a great 2013,
Ms. Margaret
Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-13954659362982159272012-12-11T11:27:00.000-08:002012-12-11T11:27:36.242-08:00<b>"Brat: Please explain. I'm not 100% what the definition is:"
by Margaret Davis</b>
I saw this post on Fetlife and I decided to answer it.
Brat: a chlld; specifically: an ill-mannered annoying child <a spoiled brat>
b: an ill-mannered immature person
I am no stranger to giving explanations of and dealing with BRATS. In the early 90's the term used was SAM, Smart Ass Masochist. The term seemed a little harsh for my newly emerging old-fashioned spanking group so I used the term BRAT to define the behavior I ran into when people simply wanted to be spanked as opposed to the long BDSM list of dungeon tortures. I didn't see the bottoms in my group as masochists as much as just mischievous adults who were temporarily being naughty in order to earn a punishment (or attention). In real life spankos are horribly independent, free spirits. Very few could live the 24/7 masochistic life style. What I describe in this post is based on some kind of ongoing conversations/emails about limits and consent.
Bratting in the spanking community means, "Show me you care by making me mind". You may ask, "Mind what?" The answer is behavior that the top and bottom have agreed upon that the bottom does not mind being corrected for and the top believes they can/should manage. Bratting sometimes involves a certain amount of arguing/resistance from the bottom, which is why 'no no no' can't be a safe word. A brat often says no when they mean yes. A brat is not likely to 'get into position' willingly but usually enjoys a certain amount of force used. A brat would probably not say, "please, sir, may I have another". A brat loves to tease. They love to see what they can get away with before a Top is provoked into reacting, which to some Doms (BDSM title) is unacceptable. In the BDSM world a Dom wants more control of everything including when s/he will do a scene. Being a Top (more of a spanking community term) means you are a little more flexible with all the activities in the room, similarly like parents and teachers have to be.
A novice brat will test the water and see if you mean business. You may tell them to keep quiet or put something down and of course they will continue to see if you are serious. Like a responsible disciplinarian you get up, take them to a private spot, keep things serious, put them in position and give them a good paddling. If they find this amusing there are different choices to get the smile off their face. This kind of scene may be totally serious or done playfully. It sort of depends on the setting and individual choices.
The great news about bratting is that the bottom is clearly signaling to a top that s/he is open for some kind of exchange or scene. The exchange may be only verbal but the bottom has consented to something. For it to turn into anything physical, like a spanking, the top must choose their words carefully. Somewhere in the bottom's response there has to be consent. (Maybe the consent was given much earlier in an email) There is one great top I know who extends his elbow to a female bottom (as if he is escorting her at a wedding) and he says, "Do you think we should go take care of your behavior problem?" or "Let's go take care of this." She takes his elbow and knows where she's going. She consented.
As part of the scene a Top could always have a bottom to do lines and in the line create words that gives the Top permission to administer whatever punishment the Top feels is necessary. With a little pre planning from the Top all things done can be put into the context of the scene but that's another article.
If a top has done a good job administering that first act of discipline, from there on all a Top needs to do is 'give them the look' from across the room and the bottom will behave. (Ha... only in a perfect world). When 'the look' stops working it is a Top's duty to remind them of how a discipline spanking feels. Etc. It's the same 'game' children do with their parents only with adults one has to be aware that not all adults imagine bratting as having them fantasize about being a child.
Some play relationships have contracts that work on real life issues; such as, paying bills, losing weight, being on time, getting rest, etc. A top who takes that on is really assuming the responsibilities not unlike raising a child and it's a lot of work. A top has to keep good records to be consistent. Not all Tops want to do all that work.
The biggest problem with brats is "over bratting'... that's so annoying. If you're a Top and can't stand the over-bratting (and every Top has a different limit) never give into it. Never reward a brat with a spanking if they are getting on your nerves. Bottoms who brat too much should just hear a safe word from Tops and that should be it. Over- bratting from one person can suck all the energy out of room and certainly discourage other bottoms from getting their fair share of scenes with Tops. Greedy players (Tops and bottoms) have to be nicely reminded that there are other players in the room who also have needs and also may not have many opportunities to play.
I have a few tips on bratting. If you brat to the whole room you are signaling the whole room is welcome to handle you. It's best to brat to a specific person or group of tops you are consenting to engage.
Brats are often attention seekers in need of a constant spotlight. Look around and share. If you are good at creating play energy be sure to include others who might benefit from your help.
"Brat" is a child-like word but it doesn't mean you have to act like a child. Lots of players love mischief but not all players like baby-talk and family names; such as, daddy, mommy, auntie, etc. Look around and see where you are. You might be at a party where certain words should be said softly.
Batting is not fun for a Top if it borders on showing disrespect or making fun of another grown adult who is trying to show you a good scene time. Things that come in that category are nasty pranks or disrespectful remarks. You don't want a Top to step back and get angry with you. If you are a Top dealing with a brat hat does not mean you are a doormat. At some point a brat has to show they've 'learned their lesson'. Constant defiance is not amusing. Running away from a consequence earned from batting is not a good idea either. Trying to goad a Top into physically chasing you is usually not safe. Someone will get hurt or something gets broken. In your head you might be a child but the reality is you're not.
Every Top likes to feel that they gave a bottom the time of their life. They want to believe they did their best and the bottom enjoyed it. Both players are responsible for helpful feedback and good manners.
Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-47161959307041816122012-05-07T10:29:00.003-07:002012-05-07T18:21:37.100-07:00“RED”/No/Stop on HitlerI run the Spanking Club of New York (SCONY), which has been doing its small part for spanking enjoyment since 1997. Between 2005-2008 my husband and I traveled a great deal in California and attended several parties where the spanking community got along, shared friends and attended each other’s parties in peace. This is not the situation in NYC and many of us wish that there would be an end to an ongoing hate fest being energized by SSNY, which began in 2008. It's a dead issue.
The main reason I’m writing is to apologize for any unpleasant gossip or rumors that makes anyone in the community look uncivilized or unwelcoming. This past April at SSNY’s Atlantic City party there was a video using Hitler as a rejected SSNY guest. Mike S. made an appearance telling Hitler that they don’t let assholes attend. Hitler’s henchmen told him “but SCONY has welcomed you with open arms”. At the end Hitler’s response was, ‘F### SCONY”. The video was offensive on so many levels. It was meant to entertain but people who don’t find Hitler jokes, German history or war references funny believe SSNY went beyond what is mature or helpful to people who just want to live out their spanking fantasies, be respected and have a good time. I don’t understand why this group went out of their way to offend SCONY members who were sitting right there and who had paid good money to attend. Also, no one is taking responsibility for the video being shown. All party groups, on some level, absorb the objectives of the group creator. Anyone who knew the contents of the video and didn’t get up and turn it off is responsible.
Depending on what you like there are several spanking groups in NYC so it’s time for the anger to stop. SCONY does not hinder any other group anywhere. In fact, we contribute to the membership of all the groups around the country. We have intimate monthly parties and do not sell any products other than occasional souvenirs. Twice a year we have a weekend party but the resort is fairly small compared to the large hotels used by the vendors and video people. Most of our membership keeps a very low profile outside the traveling spanking circuit and Fetlife culture. The goal is for people to live out their spanking fantasies the way they like and with privacy. I would rather participate in my fantasies than watch a video of them so I never got interested in having a commercial group. It’s rumored that I let anyone join SCONY but people know how I run things. There is a SCONY protocol which is nearly identical to other party groups. People who can’t operate within the rules or disagree with how I run things simply don’t come back. There’s no ill feeling because like everyone else, I am entitled to my limits. I see former guests all the time and we get along fine. Most people respect that Tom and I are not comfortable entertaining all the aspects spanking parties generate so we limit our focus to what we can handle, which is mostly just being nice to people. People in NY respect this but one group does not and it’s not clear why. They seem to be doing well and have built their own group so all should be good. At this time what is the point of pulling party consumers into the middle of an out dated drama that is not their problem. Spanking parties are too expensive to waste time on old news and hard feelings.
I would like to believe that people in the scene know that negative behavior, gossip and cheap shots at other people’s choices do not help the overall health of the community. All of us are supposed to be having a good time and following the basic rules of respect in the scene. SCONY has a long history of providing a very friendly, safe landing for shy, new players. Sometimes, but not always, members move on to different play and other groups which Tom and I are completely comfortable with since we are aware of our own limits regarding what we want to entertain.
All the spanking groups need to continue so as to give the old-fashioned, spanking community a fair representation in the fetish world. We have our own calling and need to continue working towards quality adult entertainment with respect to the individual talents each group has. Peace, safe play, tolerance, communication and good times if we see you at any upcoming parties.
Sincerely,
Margaret DavisMargaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-10442147000923559782012-04-19T13:44:00.000-07:002012-04-19T13:44:35.710-07:00Father Rich is in so much troubleWhat is happening? I’m pacing up and down my pretty suite like a crazy woman. How can I ever manage without all my needs fulfilled?<br />
<br />
Rich actually told me, “No, Margaret, I am not painting your room back to pink.” (I really never asked but he volunteered a ‘no’ and I wasn’t prepared for that.)<br />
<br />
Moving right along, later on when Rich was asking for any helpful comments about the resort he turned around abruptly and said, “No, Margaret, I am not putting a fireplace in the lobby.” I gave him the look.<br />
<br />
“You can’t tell me no.”<br />
<br />
“Well I just did”<br />
<br />
Father Rich is now on my bad boy list.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-71734428968710741332012-04-03T06:28:00.000-07:002012-04-03T06:28:03.968-07:00Great Choices for Dance Class. I love my job.(Ms. Margaret paces up and down in her office planning the April Weekend)<br />
<br />
“Well I got some a nice sleep last night. I wonder if the dance quiz material I sent had the little rug rats up all night wondering how their life will suffer if they don’t know every dance move demonstrated in the movie clips I sent them. Maybe I could pick just one; no I’m not that easy. What if I asked for demos from a few; no, they would just take over my class with chaos. On the other hand, having a few carted off to the emergency room makes less work for me. Most of these students belong under a doctor’s care any way.”<br />
<br />
“Do I dare ask for their opinions or for volunteers? Can I trust them?”<br />
<br />
(Pondering over the dance material)<br />
<br />
Quiz Material:<br />
<br />
Throwback Dance moves!!! How many can you name? <br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72rpElxj_pM<br />
<br />
Flash Dance<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iq9iySqEiU0<br />
<br />
Moonwalk<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUpa-Fu1EFM&feature=related<br />
<br />
60-90’s Montage<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phQksO6vPdU<br />
<br />
Jane Fonda<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=u5N8Zt8brTo&feature=endscreen<br />
<br />
Break dancing<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&v=Ey8Ui63VgHs&NR=1<br />
<br />
Slam dancing/Slamming/Moshing/Pogoing/<br />
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0HbFrM4Lm18Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-29204418510978068742012-03-16T10:37:00.000-07:002012-03-16T10:37:27.646-07:00I lost Joey and a fireplace story.Sigh.. You know I'm not good at this stuff so somebody please walk me over to Joey's blog. I can't find it and you know how I am without instant gratification.<br />
<br />
If you missed chat last night you didn’t learn the lesson of make sure you get your fireplace cleaned out regularly, which we did not and, hence, my lazy afternoon with my dogs turned into a fiasco. <br />
<br />
The dogs needed a bath so as is my custom I took each canine one at a time and showered them after I washed my hair. The three of us needed drying out and warming up so I lit a fire. I soon noticed that the smoke was going the wrong way so the afternoon of two alarm systems began. We still had the smoke detectors from 2000 and the new ones that came with the ADT alarm system. I put the howling dogs in the back room and called ADT, whose number were in letters “1 800 ADT ASAP”. As the fire raged I got this puny little extinguisher from the kitchen that sort of ‘whizzed” on the fireplace. Of course I took time to save the birthday balloons flying around in the smoke. I ran out into the yard so I could see in bright light without my glasses how to convert ADT ASAP. (Try doing that with your hands shaking).<br />
<br />
I assumed the fire trucks were on the way because we are connected! (I know this because they showed up very fast when I brought the smoke machine in the house on Halloween one night… while the Yankees were playing in the World Series… another story) I told ADT I forgot the code and could they turn the alarm off. She said she couldn’t help me. WHAT? I called Mr. Ryder and I got his machine. ADT told me to go downstairs and pull out the battery. I ‘reentered’ the house and went into the basement and started yanking wires. Nothing stopped. She said go to the electric panel and turn all of breakers off and back on so we can reset it. I did that but then I realized I’m in the basement almost right under the fireplace in the pitch dark. I went back upstairs where the dogs were barking and got the flashlight (for boats) so it was really awkward to hold and put the panel back together. I put all the fuses back on and went back to fireplace where the smoke was still steaming.<br />
<br />
I didn’t hear any fire trucks coming! <br />
<br />
I told the lady, “I think I need help here”.<br />
<br />
“Would you like me to call the fire department?”<br />
<br />
(&^%!!&*) “Why yes I think that that would be a good idea”<br />
<br />
The fire station around the corner must have been on break because it took ten minutes for the company further across town to show with trucks cars, bell, lights and sirens. The first guy through the door was ten feet tall with big legs and a mean face so I was in love. <br />
<br />
I have to back up here. Before I showered I had been painting so the only clothes handy were paint splattered scrubs and my feet were bare, my hair was wet, no undies or make up on and green nail polish was glowing for St. Patrick’s week. I looked simply stunning as twenty five firemen ran toward the house. There were two trucks and so many cars blinking that the street was blocked off. Naturally, here come the neighbors. I was the shortest one wandering around and my young sweet neighbor (whose wife is going to have a baby in time) came by and stood next to me. He was soooooooo cute.<br />
<br />
He said, “Do you need me here”<br />
<br />
“Yes! I know one of these guys is going to chastise the homeowner and they won’t be so mean if a guy is standing here.”<br />
<br />
So the firemen used their big extinguisher and put out the fire and smoke ascended up the white wall. Sigh…. Now, the second alarm system decided to go off. The dogs were in cardiac arrest by now. There was an antique lard boiling pot my great grandparents used to make soap sitting next the fireplace. <br />
<br />
The fireman in charge said, “Let’s use this and get the logs out of here.”<br />
<br />
“Not the lard bucket!” I said. Too late. It was filled with hot logs and taken outside in a trail of smoke.” Only one fireman was old enough to know what that bucket was and I mumbled, “My grandmother is rolling over in her grave”. He laughed.<br />
<br />
I heard the two dogs but I lost the cat. One fireman said, “Maybe that’s what’s up the chimney.” I panicked, freaked and teared up when he said that but about that time a cute little fireman came down the stairs and said, “No, she’s asleep on the bed. I just saw her”. So while I wasn’t looking a fireman with a see-through-the-wall-smoke-detector had gone through all the rooms in the house. My brain exploded wondering if there were paddles, canes and belts lying around.<br />
<br />
Finally, Mr. R calls back. How do I tell him all this and entertain a house full of luscious fireman? I told him just to hang on and listen so I held the phone near my cheek but facing the fireman as he started his speech. I pointed to the phone and said, "He’s the homeowner.” There was a problem resetting the alarm so I gave the phone to the fireman with the speech.<br />
<br />
About this time the fire department from around the corner showed up. I had to bite my tongue and count to ten to keep myself from going ballistic on their heads. While they stood around they tested the hydrant right in between my house and my neighbor’s. The good neighbor was standing next to me while drips of rusty red water poured onto the steaming logs in the gutter and the two of us wondered if this thing really worked.<br />
<br />
There had to fifty people standing around but they all disappeared as quickly as they came except for my one neighbor, an artist, from down the street. She just stood there and looked at my outfit. “ M, what were you doing this time? Nice polish on the nails, too.” I think I threatened her.<br />
<br />
My neighbors from next door offered to let me sit in their house until my home had aired out. I took them up on the offer and he and his wife forced vodka down my throat for a few hours until it was time for me to come home and go into chat. Somehow,” How was your day?” turned into a very long answer. Nothing I said was coming out right and I had to take some serious abuse from some very disrespectful brats. Just remember this was all Caroline’s fault because I was working on weekend stuff in the morning and was concerned about her first trip to the mountains.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-87181001901830047912012-02-24T15:17:00.000-08:002012-02-24T15:17:49.272-08:00Can't believe some peopleI had a great laugh today. If you are reading this little blog post you probably know and are aware that, as scene standards go, I’m limited to what I do or talk about in public. So today I got a message from a total stranger on Fetlife.<br />
<br />
“Hey<br />
I can't stop seeing your pics Goddess<br />
I wanna worship you until I die<br />
i can lick and clean your shoes. feet and toes by my crazy tongue<br />
i can do whatever you want<br />
I need to be abused by you<br />
i was born to be your slavedog my Goddess<br />
I enjoy giving massages, foot worship , watersports and any form of body worship desired. i love humiliation including being spat on and pissed on. i am happy to endure pain for my Mistress .”<br />
<br />
Where do I start? What is he thinking? Maybe I’ll write back and say, “Oh baby, oh baby, hold me back” (Is any woman so desperate to answer this stuff?) Do you get the feeling I’m not the only person to get this invitation?<br />
<br />
Do you believe he said “Hey” to Ms. Margaret? Lea is the only person who must call me Goddess. Mr. R calls me Mistress with a lisp and a paddle in his hand. <br />
<br />
The song “If you don’t know me by now… you will never never never know me…. Ah, oooooooooo” is running through my head.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-67793171893649394412011-09-27T20:13:00.000-07:002011-09-28T15:07:07.262-07:00Weekend aftermath and fun at dunkin donutsI really have to calm down from the SCONY weekend in the mountains before somebody follows me home.<br />
<br />
I went into Dunkin Doughnuts and there were three people from India working behind the counter. This is a wonderful store with employees whose mastery of English varies from a lot to very little. In very broken English one young man asked me, “Can I help you?”<br />
<br />
I said, “Yes, I’d like a large mocha coolata with a shot of whiskey.”<br />
<br />
He frowned and started making my order. His two co-workers started giggling.<br />
<br />
He looked up. “With a shot of what?” and I answered “Whiskey”.<br />
<br />
I couldn’t keep this up so we laughed and told him I was kidding. He was just too cute and trying so hard.<br />
<br />
Two construction workers entered the back of the store and the young lady asked if she could help him. He said, “I’d like a number 13.”<br />
<br />
I said, “Number 13 comes with a stripper.” His eyes lit up and the three employees started laughing.<br />
<br />
“Wow, I’d like that. I gotta come in here more often.”<br />
<br />
A third construction man came in and his friend said, “Get number 13. It comes with a stripper.”<br />
<br />
“No way.” <br />
<br />
“That’s what she said.”<br />
<br />
As I was leaving the construction guys were blocking the counter and I said, “Excuse me. Can I get a straw?”<br />
<br />
They backed up and said, “Aw, no. You can’t have that.”<br />
<br />
I told them that cutting back on straws was how they pay for the stripper.<br />
<br />
I didn’t notice that in the background there was a LIPA guy watching all this. As I left he just kept looking around like he didn’t know where he was. I was on a roll and started to say something like, "The stripper's name is Maurice." but I don’t mess with anybody who can turn the power on in Long Island.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-30409414856002847932011-06-20T06:53:00.001-07:002011-06-20T06:53:53.842-07:00Doing what feels good.OMG I love Father’s Day. It’s so nice when a day comes along where you’re alone with a partner for hours and hours and you’re pretty sure all the phones are off and no one will be coming to the front door. It’s his favorite kind of day so that’s what he gets. The details aren’t important but my point is that it’s so tempting to be convinced that we should show up for this and go see that. I have a habit of waiting for those long days in my neighborhood when everyone is off the block doing all the “I gotta’s and should’s” then I take advantage of the open windows, birds chirping and sunsets outside our windows. After a few minutes of, “don’t I belong somewhere?” the magic starts. This past Sunday, besides sleeping very late we went back to ‘nap’ but not before some delicate noise with a special belt. (Sigh….) For those of us who just don’t like playing erotically in public those long lazy days are wonderful. We play, we sleep, we laugh. Eventually we get to dinner and gifts but that’s so anti climatic.<br />
<br />
We have a new hammock this summer. I pretty much thought that this big red thing in the middle of the back yard was a safe place to be innocent. What was I thinking? When it gets dark and the bug devices are working I’m amazed at all the ways you can be violated in the dark under your neighbor’s windows.<br />
<br />
Anybody who has a serious Mon-Fri knows how fun it is to share a silly laugh over nothing with a partner. It’s like stealing candy under the grownups noses just to see if we’ll get caught. At our age if we get caught somebody might call the police but that’s part of the sport when you’re being naughty with your best friend.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-90735208257116073962011-05-30T08:27:00.000-07:002011-05-30T08:27:19.180-07:00Real tear-jerker sessionQuestion on Fetlife:<br />
<br />
A question for spankees<br />
by hairbrushedhubby 3 days ago<br />
Have any of you, when having some spanking fun, asked your spanker for a real tear-jerker session, and did they oblige?<br />
<br />
My response:<br />
<br />
I’ve given many discipline spankings and I love bringing people to tears but I find there are two types of bottoms when it comes to crying. There are people who cry easily and those that don’t. Some bottoms need to have a very real and personal moment to reach such an emotional response. That said, I found that tears are not so much about what implement you use or how hard to hit or for how long. What matters is the words you use and tone you take. I love bringing a bottom to tears in a scene without even touching them, which tells me I found the button in their head. Of course, I complete a thorough spanking but it’s delivered with, “This is going to hurt me more than you” going on in my head because I can see the person is already repentant about what they did.<br />
<br />
Tearful spankings usually come to life better if they are delivered in a private setting without interruptions. Parties are not a tough place to try this. It works better to say, “Wait until I get you home” or ‘we will deal with this at another time” then take the matter up in private. Caution: If you put out a fearful warning about a later moment to come make sure you actually come through with the threat and deliver a spanking. Unfulfilled threats/fantasies are mean and useless.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-60479241215302836662011-05-16T19:39:00.000-07:002011-05-16T19:39:38.831-07:00Lenny WallerLenny Waller<br />
by MsMargaretDavis about 1 month ago on Fetlife<br />
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<i>In spring of 2011 NY lost an icon and I lost a friend. Lenny Waller used to manage Hellfire and, later, Fetish Warehouse. At Hellfire in 1997 he was the first and only person to give me an opportunity to experiment with ideas I had about spanking parties when there was no OTK community in NYC. At the time he led Leather Pride but he gently held his breath when I asked for a party that called for ‘no leather’. Lenny and I worked really well together even though his kink and mine were in opposite directions. He had no idea what I was doing but trusted my judgment and I put my faith in any suggestions he had. He wasn’t a taker but a giver. By example Lenny taught everybody a deeper meaning of tolerance, trust, communication and honesty. He was a visionary, a teddy bear, and a big man with tattoos; frightening to meet but a cuddle bunny to his friends. He worked tirelessly for Aids awareness and he would set up little memorials for people who passed away who would otherwise not be remembered. He took care of people who were really out of luck. He loved his friends and openly embarrassed people who would cheat or B.S. the community. He had his enemies but I was proud to be his friend. He celebrated his uniqueness with joy and encouraged others to do the same. He was one of a kind and so many people will miss him.<br />
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Lenny's Memorial<br />
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On May 14th Mr. Ryder and I went to the memorial service for Lenny Waller. It was held at Paddles in NYC and began with a video presentation followed by different friends of his who would step up to the microphone to share a story or thought about Lenny. I knew Lenny was a very special part of New York but there were people at the service who knew him from the 1960’s and 70‘s when the BDSM scene had its beginnings in New York through the gay community. By the ‘80’s and ‘90’s Lenny was well established and was one of the first in line to fight the fight against AIDS.<br />
Way back Lenny was the only one who helped me create parties for spankos, who wanted things a little bit toned down and out of the dungeon. While his is own interests went way beyond anything I could handle, Lenny listened as best he could. His Harley was parked in Hellfire as a piece of equipment people used for play. He was a biker and with his long beard, tattoos, and leather outfits you wanted to run in fright. Even he knew he was a big teddy bear and I learned Saturday he had quite a collection of little stuffed bears. It took awhile for me to relax but together we made things come together. Before we incorporated his name for SCONY was East Coast Spankers.<br />
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Between ’96-’97, after Lenny had worked so hard for alternative life styles I shared my observations. I could see that there were three things still missing on the east coast. One, the community was loaded with men and not exactly all of them were appealing. Most of them needed a good shower and some serious grooming. Second, as a woman I knew there were females who like dominance and submission but unless things were cleaned up no ladies in big numbers would really come out. The men were not going to clean up anything and it was up to the women in NY at the time to get the job going. Third, on the east coast there was not a strong, active presents of an old-fashioned, OTK spanking community. Lenny listened and let me experiment with anything I wanted to do to make it work. I sat for hours either with him or his Hellfire staff trying to explain what our needs were. When I rented his dark, dungeon- like club I used lace curtains to cover chains, leather tables and leg spreaders. I lit pink candles and we bought flowers in vases to lighten things up. When the party started Lenny would ask people who were clad in leather to wait until 10:00 PM to re-enter the regular Hellfire setting. Spankos got it but some people just didn’t and never will.<br />
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My first no leather OTK only party in his club (Hellfire) was in April, 1997 and had 167 people in attendance by 6:00 PM during daylight savings time. (I used daylight as a friend so the frightened bridge and tunnel people could find the location.) Lenny thought I would fail but after the first event he helped NY spankos anyway he could. It was hard for him to watch people resist and struggle to get away. I explained that for some people that’s part of it so he stopped interrupting scenes and trusted me. Everything from people draping over a lap to the ordinary clothes we wore were unusual for him but once he saw us, time after time, he got into it. So here we are and the NY spanking party scene grew from there. Up to that time there were only a few parties and one sub-group of TES. Before that spring NY spanking was identified as a beginner activity rather than a community with its own identity different and separate from other communities.<br />
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I have so many memories of Lenny but one of my favorites is on the day one of my parties he wore a soft blue button down oxford shirt, a white sports jacket and beige pants. He said, “How do I look?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, I just embraced him with a big kiss.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-38600520256319395732011-05-13T20:02:00.000-07:002011-05-13T20:02:03.745-07:00Figuring out BloggerList of things you can do when you can’t figure out Blogger:<br />
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Let the dogs out.<br />
Call your lover.<br />
Count your implements.<br />
Read other blogs<br />
Look at pictures of Erica Scott in her underwear.<br />
Look up how Alicia spelled her last name.<br />
Let the dogs out.<br />
Watch the neighbors trip on the sidewalk.<br />
Change your earrings.<br />
Bother Arthur.<br />
Read things you’ve written and never posted.<br />
Clean out your C File.<br />
Look for spanking pictures.<br />
Kick the computer.<br />
Call it dirty names.<br />
Put clothes in the dryer.<br />
Smooth out the bedspread again.<br />
Feed the dogs.<br />
Pet the cat.<br />
Read what Lea is thinking.<br />
Look for Rayne’s blog.<br />
Search foxfire. <br />
Wonder why they’re laughing.<br />
Bother Arthur.<br />
Call your lover.<br />
Let the dogs out.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-28437002134299278542011-05-11T08:29:00.000-07:002011-05-11T08:29:06.056-07:00Greetings from Ms. MargaretWelcome. In case you haven’t guessed I’m new at blogger.com but I’m willing to learn. My goal is to write helpful information about healthy spanking scenes or entertaining posts on related topics. I run the Spanking Club of New York (SCONY) and through this social group I try to offer a non commercial and very private setting to enjoy the OTK community. My parties are perfect for safely meeting up with someone you have been connecting with online. I cater to the needs of novices particularly females. In time, as people acquire experience if s/he wants to move towards a other activities and parties I totally support every person’s growth and right to enjoy the community any way they like. The goal with any adult entertainment is to have a good time while behaving as a safe, sane and honorable adult. Follow along if you like.<br />
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Margaret DavisMargaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3372356288817546550.post-79248212384446998802011-05-11T08:06:00.000-07:002011-05-11T08:06:24.032-07:00Don't laughI'm testing.Margaret Davishttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17981317375077637732noreply@blogger.com3