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Monday, May 30, 2011

Real tear-jerker session

Question on Fetlife:

A question for spankees
by hairbrushedhubby 3 days ago
Have any of you, when having some spanking fun, asked your spanker for a real tear-jerker session, and did they oblige?

My response:

I’ve given many discipline spankings and I love bringing people to tears but I find there are two types of bottoms when it comes to crying. There are people who cry easily and those that don’t. Some bottoms need to have a very real and personal moment to reach such an emotional response. That said, I found that tears are not so much about what implement you use or how hard to hit or for how long. What matters is the words you use and tone you take. I love bringing a bottom to tears in a scene without even touching them, which tells me I found the button in their head. Of course, I complete a thorough spanking but it’s delivered with, “This is going to hurt me more than you” going on in my head because I can see the person is already repentant about what they did.

Tearful spankings usually come to life better if they are delivered in a private setting without interruptions. Parties are not a tough place to try this. It works better to say, “Wait until I get you home” or ‘we will deal with this at another time” then take the matter up in private. Caution: If you put out a fearful warning about a later moment to come make sure you actually come through with the threat and deliver a spanking. Unfulfilled threats/fantasies are mean and useless.

7 comments:

  1. Very thought provoking. I was raised in a strict military family and crying was considered "unmanly"Undoubtly crying provides an emotional release for some people, personally I think I am incapable of it.Thanks live2spank

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  2. Hi MsM,
    A hard spanking such as a few I had at a very recent party will bring tears to my eyes because of the intensity, but will not cause crying. A tearful spanking would require a deep emotional response to some real life issue. The spanker would have to find that button deep in my headspace. If the right button is pushed, the setting is not as important.
    That said, I have asked for and prefer a hard spanking using some stingy wood implement. As the pain builds in intesity tears will well up in my eyes. It is a physical response, but there is no deep emotional response that would cause crying. Actually the response is one of serenity and peacefulness.
    Hug,
    joey

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  3. I agree. For me personally, tears are most likely to be brought on during a spanking where my head is really in it and I have the right dynamic with the spanker. The tone and words of the top get to me much more than the physical pain itself.

    The first time I ever cried during a spanking was with you actually, at the end of a very emotionally charged weekend at my first Scony event. It's a scene I look back on fondly.

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. I have never asked while I was having spanking fun. I have asked the spankers in an email or have hinted about it wanting to happen. So far it has not come to fruition.

    I almost cried once, but it wasn't while I was being spanked. I had not told the Top that I wanted to cry from being reprimanded before I was spanked, while I was being spanked or after I was spanked. It was after the spanking when I was put in the corner to stand there bare bottomed. I trembled uncontrollably for ten seconds, composed myself and held back the tears though, because I did not want to scare the Top. sigh.....

    The spanking was a real life punishment spanking. It has to be a real life punishment spanking for me to even get to the point where I can release the tears freely. But again, if I did not warn the Top ahead of the spanking that I might cry, I can hold back the tears. I will also hold them back if they are not comfortable with me crying.

    Yes, if a Top says they are going to take care of a bottom later or they are going to make some sort of statement like I will punish you for so and so a specific way and it never happens...well...lets say it's very emotionally draining and not the good kind either. I find that very cruel, especially if it happens more than once.

    I would feel like I am being played with diabolically and I would feel like a fool. It's almost like being bullied and being tossed aside. Clearly the Top doesn't care or take it seriously enough. Too many promises broken will break a person's spirit. So much so, it might make them give up spanking all together. Not the way a person should get a good cry. Not a good experience for anyone at all.

    It’s would be like losing my religion . My religion being spanking.

    Like the song “Losing My Religion” by R.E.M. states : I’ve said too much.

    Oh, life is bigger
    It's bigger than you
    And you are not me
    The lengths that I will go to
    The distance in your eyes
    Oh no, I've said too much
    I set it up

    (chorus)
    That's me in the corner
    That's me in the spotlight, I'm
    Losing my religion
    Trying to keep up with you
    And I don't know if I can do it
    Oh no, I've said too much
    I haven't said enough
    I thought that I heard you laughing
    I thought that I heard you sing
    I think I thought I saw you try

    Every whisper
    Of every waking hour I'm
    Choosing my confessions
    Trying to keep an eye on you
    Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool
    Oh no, I've said too much
    I set it up
    Consider this
    Consider this
    The hint of the century
    Consider this
    The slip that brought me
    To my knees failed
    What if all these fantasies
    Come flailing around
    Now I've said too much
    I thought that I heard you laughing
    I thought that I heard you sing
    I think I thought I saw you try

    But that was just a dream
    That was just a dream

    (repeat chorus)

    But that was just a dream
    Try, cry, why try?
    That was just a dream
    Just a dream, just a dream
    Dream

    Then again….I just might be taking this question too sensitively and too seriously...again……Did I hear button pushing mentioned...will not go there....sigh

    Sorry.

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  6. Wow..intelligent and respectful. I agree its truly all about how and where you bring them as it pertains to "play" space.

    Brooks5@aol.com

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  7. VERY INTERESTING. I HAVE BEEN BROUGHT TO TEARS ON A NUMBER OF OCCASIONS BUT IN EVERY INSTANCE IT WAS WHAT WAS BEING SAID AND HOW IT WAS SAID. I WAS RAISED BY A VERY STRICT AUNT AND HAVE ROLE PLAYED SOME OF MY ACTUAL SPANKINGS FROM MY YOUTH ( MY LAST ACTUAL SPANKING WAS AT THE EMBARRASSING AGE OF 15 )BUT HAVE NEVER PLANNED ON BEING BROUGHT TO TEARS. IN EVERY CASE IT WAS THE WORDS AND TONE RATHER THAN THE SEVERITY AND/OR DURATION OF THE SPANKING ITSELF. THANKS, KYLE

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